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Bears, Beds, and a Wheel of Cheese

Mammoth California Hiking Travel

Five of us went to Mammoth Lakes for Pokin’s birthday. Nicholas, Pokin, Po On, Eric, and me. None of us had ever been there. Pokin wanted mountains for her birthday. She got mountains, mosquitoes, and a wheel of cheese the size of a small tire. But we’ll get to that.

The Sleeping Arrangements
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The hotel room had a loft with four twin beds in a row against the wall. Like a barracks. Like someone was expecting a platoon and got two couples and a bear instead.

Five travelers sitting on four twin beds lined up in a row in a hotel loft
From left: Pokin, me, Nicholas, Po On, and Eric. Four beds, five of us. The math works if you count me as half a person, which I am not.

Naturally, we had to test them.

Five travelers lying flat on their backs across four twin beds in synchronized pose
2:16 PM. Synchronized napping. I was the first one down and the last one up. Professional.

Pokin and Nicholas Go Vertical
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The next morning, Nicholas and Pokin went to do a via ferrata. For the uninitiated, a via ferrata is a climbing route with metal rungs and cables bolted into a cliff face, so you can pretend you’re a mountaineer without any of the actual mountaineering skills. Nicholas loves these things.

I was not invited. Something about “liability waivers.” Discrimination.

Two climbers in blue helmets ascending a via ferrata route on a vertical rock face
Nicholas and Pokin going straight up. Those yellow-green patches are lichen, not safety nets.
Two climbers resting on a rock face while clipped into via ferrata cables
Taking a break mid-cliff. Nicholas looks like he’s lounging on a couch. Show-off.
Two climbers standing on metal rungs on a sheer cliff with a vast forested valley behind them
The hero shot. Standing on two pieces of rebar over a thousand-foot drop with a forest valley behind them. Meanwhile I was back at the hotel, napping on bed number two. No regrets.

Into the Mountains
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The real reason we came: hiking. The whole crew headed out into the Sierra Nevada to find some alpine lakes.

Two people looking out at a large alpine lake surrounded by mountains
First lake sighting. Pokin and Nicholas scoping out the terrain from above.
Selfie of Nicholas, Pokin, and Sumi Bear at a mountain summit with Sierra Nevada panorama
Summit selfie. Sierra Nevada behind us, dramatic clouds above us, adventure hats on all of us.
Selfie of Nicholas, Pokin, and Sumi Bear on a sandy mountain slope near wind-beaten trees
These trees have been fighting the wind longer than I’ve been blogging. Respect.
Nicholas hiking down a dusty trail through pine forest
My bud in full explorer mode. Hat, gear, thousand-yard stare at the trees. I was in the backpack for this part. Conserving energy.

The trail wound through granite and pine until we found what we came for.

Group photo of four hikers at a dark alpine lake with granite mountains and snow patches
Everyone in coordinated hiking gear. I was tucked away somewhere, probably napping.
Four hikers posing on a rocky trail above a blue alpine lake
Group trail photo number two. The lakes here are that specific shade of blue that makes you want to jump in and immediately regret it because it’s freezing.
Hiking trail with wooden sign reading Pika Lake and arrow, mountain scenery beyond
Pika Lake. Named after the pika, a tiny mountain rodent. Finally, a creature smaller than me.
Panoramic view from a high ridge looking down at turquoise tarns and green meadows
The view from the top. Turquoise tarns, green meadows, and a trail that took way too long to hike to appreciate for only five minutes before turning around.

The mosquitoes, by the way, were outrageous. An entire airborne militia. Nicholas was swatting them away every ten seconds. I didn’t see what all the fuss was about. Not a single bite. Must be my natural charm.

Bear Aware
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Po On found a sign that demanded my attention.

Po On holding Sumi Bear next to a yellow BE BEAR AWARE warning sign
Po On making sure I read the rules. ‘BE BEAR AWARE.’ I AM a bear. I am VERY aware. Also, I would never store food in a vehicle. I would eat it immediately.

The sign had some helpful tips. “Do NOT store food or scented items in your vehicle.” “Never feed or approach a bear or its cubs.” “Don’t wait and make it bait.”

Solid advice. I especially support the part about not approaching bears. Unless you’re bringing cocoa.

The Gift
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Po On holding Sumi Bear in the back of a car, cupping his ears
Po On cupping my ears in the backseat. Apparently something was being said that I wasn’t supposed to hear. I heard it anyway. Bear ears are decorative, not functional.
Sumi Bear photobombing the foreground while Nicholas and Po On are in the background of a parking lot
Photobomb. I’m the entire foreground. Nicholas is fumbling with something in the middle. Po On is doing peace signs in the back. Priorities in the right order.

Now. The cheese.

One of their friends gave Pokin a birthday gift: a full wheel of Swiss raclette cheese. Not a wedge. Not a slice. A WHEEL. From Mifroma. The kind that says “Maitres Fromagers Suisses” on it because apparently this cheese has a resume.

Pokin proudly holding up a giant wheel of Mifroma Swiss Raclette cheese
The birthday girl and her gift. A full wheel of raclette. Happy birthday, here’s eight pounds of cheese and a logistical challenge.

The thing about a raclette wheel is that you can’t just eat it. You need a raclette melter. A specific appliance designed for melting cheese in a very particular way. So the gift was really: “Happy birthday, now go buy a specialized piece of kitchen equipment and plan an entire dinner party around this cheese.” Which is either the most thoughtful gift or the most passive-aggressive one. I respect it either way.

Happy birthday, Pokin. Next time, maybe ask for something that doesn’t require its own appliance.