Most people pick a cruise based on destinations. How many islands, how many beaches, how much snorkeling.
Nicholas and Pokin picked this one because it had the least amount of shore days relative to total trip length. Maximum time at sea. Minimum distractions. The Emerald Princess, Long Beach to Hawaii and back, over Christmas.
It’s a work retreat that happens to float.
There is one table in the cabin. One. It was fully colonized before I’d even found my spot on the bed.
Since it was Christmas, I was feeling generous. Chestnut got to come. He had not earned it.
We set sail from Long Beach. Golden hour on the balcony, a naval ship parked next door, and five days of open ocean ahead before landfall.
The whole crew was on this one. Five adults and a bear on a floating office building. Perfect.
Maui#
Five sea days later, we woke up to this.
Kahului, Maui. Those green mountains have no right looking that good at seven in the morning.
Nicholas rented a car and drove us to Iao Valley. Massive green peaks shooting straight up like someone forgot to add foothills.
The whole group made it out for this one.
The Maui Ocean Center turned out to be worth the stop. A Sylvia Earle quote on the wall tried to make us feel things about the ocean. Pass. But the fish were cool.
Then Pokin needed shave ice.
Ululani’s. This would not be the last shave ice of the trip. Not even close.
We stopped at some plantation. It was fine. I was hot.
And then, because this is Pokin’s world and we’re all just living in it:
The Maui Costco. Five days by sea to buy macadamia nuts in bulk. The cart was already half full. I don’t know what I expected.
Maui at least had the decency to send us off with a proper sky.
Big Island#
Hilo was quieter. Less “tourist itinerary,” more “walk around and see what happens.”
Nicholas found the biggest tree on the island and stood under it for scale. It was pleasant. I was in the backpack.
Christmas#
Back on the ship, it was time for the important business.
Nobody packed anything for Christmas. So naturally, someone found a dollar store at port and went absolutely feral. Stockings, gag gifts, a rubber chicken. The bed could barely hold it all.
I got a stocking. Chestnut got a stocking. Chestnut also got… this.
A little horse figurine under a dome. A pudding pony, apparently. Chestnut was delighted. I remain confused, disgusted, and mildly concerned for everyone involved in its creation.
Nicholas covered himself in Disney stickers, then transferred them to the door. Our little corner of the Emerald Princess was officially festive.
Honolulu#
After days of small towns and plantation stops, Honolulu finally felt like a real city. Skyscrapers right up against green mountains, the old Aloha Tower on the waterfront where ships have been pulling in since the 1920s, and actual traffic. Honolulu has been the capital of Hawaii since the kingdom days, and you can feel the weight of it from the deck.
We did the Waikiki Beach walk. Princess Cruises tote bags in hand because subtlety was never part of the plan.
And then:
At this point, the official mission of the Hawaii cruise had quietly shifted from “productive work retreat” to “find Pokin more shave ice.” Every island, every port, the first thing she’d look up was where to get it. Which, honestly, fair. And yes, it’s “shave ice,” not “shaved ice.” In Hawaii, calling it “shaved ice” is how you announce you just got off a plane from the mainland. The tradition goes back to the early 1900s, brought over by Japanese plantation workers who shaved blocks of ice and topped them with fruit juice. The local version now piles on condensed milk, azuki beans, mochi, whatever fits. It’s not a snow cone. Pokin would want that on the record.
The Porch Office#
Here’s the thing about this cruise. Nicholas spent half of it like this:
AR glasses turning the open air into a double-wide display. We’re docked in Kauai and he’s on the porch working. The whole concept of “pick the cruise with the fewest shore days” suddenly made perfect sense.
I’d judge him, but I was sitting inside next to the door watching, so who’s really winning here.
The Official Photos#
Princess Cruises does the thing where photographers ambush you at every port.
Kahului. December 20, 2025. Emerald Princess life ring. And in MY spot, wearing a sailor cap and a lei, is some other bear. A Princess Cruises house bear. A scab. Everyone’s smiling like this is fine. It is not fine.
The Emerald Princess pulled back into Long Beach after eleven days. Nicholas got his sea days. Pokin got her shave ice on every island. Chestnut got a pudding pony. I got replaced by a house bear in an official photo and I’m not over it.
Merry Christmas from the seas.