My best bear bud could have been a star. But he blew it.
Holland America has some partnership with Dancing with the Stars to do Dancing with the Stars at Sea, where they teach you a routine and you compete to win.
So we went. And Nick and Pokin learned the foxtrot. They didn’t hurt each other, and were even chosen by the judges to compete.
And then they wussed out.
So I lost my one and only chance to say my best bear bud was a minor celebrity on a cruise. Weak.
Instead we ended up just sitting in the front row to watch the finalists instead.
Not good enough, bear bud. Show some courage next time. I would have danced in a flash if they only had partner dancers my size!
Agung and Martin made me towel buddies every night. How nice. I guess they thought I needed the company since Nick and Pokin LEFT me in the room ALONE every night when they had dinner. Four course meals. Without me. I ate their bedtime pillow chocolates in revenge. That’s right.
I don’t know what I expected of this place aside from beaches and beach resorts.
Resorts: Check.
Beaches: Check.
Well I got all that. And Walmart.
Apparently Walmart is a popular named bus stop route in Puerto Vallarta. It’s a BIG DEAL. So many buses stop there. And it’s the go-to place for people aboard the cruise ship to stock up on Doritos. So many people came out of that Walmart with Doritos. Almost makes me want some.
Aren’t we lucky the Walmart was right across from where our boat was docked?
This one time, I was on a cruise boat, waiting with my best bear bud in the sweltering self-serve laundry room because some awful lady left her clothes in the dryer so we couldn’t put our clothes in.
We waited for over 40 minutes before we finally took her laundry out and put it in the laundry basket.
For extra unpleasantness, one of her underwear ended up in our laundry pile. Ewww.
Post cheesecake, we ventured away from the blue line <gasp!>
through the city
and towards the water.
The water looked pretty nice.
We had some moments on the Malecon (boardwalk.)
We even saw a ship named the Titanik.
That name didn’t seem that great for a boat. Why not just call the boat “Please Sink Me Now”? I’m happy our boat’s got some boring name like the Veendam. Wait, what does that name mean anyway in Dutch?
Since Nicholas actually booked us on a retirement cruise, we really stood out quite a bit for being somewhat younger.
That made it somehow easy for us to meet and get to know the entertainers on board.
See, the keyboard player and I are best friends already:
That’s Ashley and Nick and Marino. I liked that both Ashley and Nick were from Canada. But they didn’t recognize me as their Winter Olympics mascot. Minus points for that.
But they let me play in the band. Ok extra points for that. They were pretty good and I liked to sit and hear them sing. So points for that too.
During our port call to Mazatlan, we were told by another awesome performer, Michael Bragg that the must-go place for wifi + cheesecake was Allegro. So we went to find said famed cafe.
Now I understand that Mexico has been getting a bad rep for crime and safety, and that Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta were both on the watch list.
What I didn’t expect was what the locals decided to do to combat it.
They basically posted people everywhere to make sure you couldn’t get lost. And then they didn’t let you get lost.
First there was the free and *compulsory *shuttle.
That got you to the gate.
Then they stationed volunteers at every block.
And added a blue line for you to follow directly into town.
The policia even said hello and good morning. They never say hello.
So you couldn’t get lost, you couldn’t go off track, and if you did the policia and volunteers were already there to guide you back. Reminds me a little of the happiest place on earth – Disneyland.
