It’s been a while since I saved the universe as Commander Sumi Shepherd.  As a dutiful guardian of the universe, I deemed it time to head to the skies to protect its denizens.

So I took up Elite : Dangerous.  Now this is my kind of space game.  I get to explore the universe and take down pirates.  Sweet.

Well an awesome captain needs an awesome flight experience.  The mouse and keyboard were not cutting it, so I busted out my bud’s wallet and ordered myself a Saitek X-55 Rhino.  What I really wanted was a Warthog, but my bud said I’d have to use my bearbox money for that, which wasn’t happening.  Saitek Rhino it is.

Delivery day came.  I wanted to rest up for my upcoming battles so I told Peep to watch for the FedEx guy.  It’s nice to have a minion.

I was in deep slumber when I heard Peep.

“Peep” said Peep.

My flightstick!  We went out together, and there WAS a box at the doorstep.

Except that it was the size of Peep.   Clearly not the flightstick.  Weak.  No more false alarms Peep!  Wake me up only if there’s a big ass box.

“Peep.”

My flightstick!  For real!

This is what we’re talking about.

Commander Sumi can now take to the skies in style!

Well.

It seems there’s been a conspiracy to conceal information about the level of force necessary to move and navigate a spring-loaded flight stick.  Saving the universe is hard work!  I’m exhausted manning the ship.  Bud take over!

“Sumi, you were only on the stick for like 2 seconds,” said Nicholas.

As I was saying, extreme levels of effort and dedication are required to man my ships.

Oh the sacrifices I make.